I turned 35 on Sunday, and my tradition for the past few years has been to make myself create a very time-intensive blog post that details what I learned in the last year. This is how I party. Pretty soon, I think I’ll be too old to put this all in one post. Eli, my three-year-old would probably agree. This morning as we played together, he said to me, “I need a new Mommy.” I said, “You do? What’s wrong with me?” “You’re getting old. I need a new Mommy.” I asked, “What would your new mommy be like?” and he said, “As tough as a monster truck.”
Well, great.
He pouted when I told him that he was stuck with me. So, year thirty-five is starting off great. Here are some highlights of what I’ve learned/discovered/tried in the last year:
1. I write young adult fiction.
I had a great plan this year to not only write YA fiction, but to add “sweet romances with adult characters” to my repertoire. (Sorry for the clunky phrasing. Saying I want to write “adult romances” sounds scandalous, even with the sweet thrown in.)
When I had my writing retreat with Roseanna White in the spring, I brought my notes and was determined to crank out this novel.
Those adult characters drove me crazy. Even though I liked them, I felt minimal compassion for their struggles. “Look, just be an adult and take care of it,” is what I wanted to say to them throughout the entire book.
The only scene that I absolutely loved writing was a flashback to when they were in high school. I finished that scene feeling like that was the story I wanted to be telling, and I said to Roseanna, “You know what I think I just learned about myself? I’m a YA writer.”
Nobody has seemed blown away by this discovery.
2. Naan and Pretzel Bread
Seriously, how did these not enter my life until 2018?
3. Immigrate and Emigrate mean two different things.
I didn’t even know emigrate was a word until reading a book about the U.S./Mexico border history. To emigrate is to leave your country, To immigrate is to come to a country that isn’t your own.
4. All The Business Things
The kids were super excited when they learned that Ben and I were starting a business. Until they found out that we would both still be doing the same things we always have been, Ben taking photos and me writing novels, plus blogging and teaching.
I’ve learned a lot about taxes, Quickbooks, paperwork, bank accounts, etc. There’s also been the weird mental shift of when I sign things as Stephanie Morrill, President. I still giggle every time.
5. The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
For McKenna’s 10th birthday, we surprised her with a trip to Orlando to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. (This was also my birthday and Christmas presents … and part of her college fund too.)
We had a pretty good time.
Look at her face! This is my favorite picture of her EVER because I did not ask her to do that. We bravely rode the two roller coaster/thrill rides in the park (neither of us are roller coaster people), we enjoyed Butterbeer in all its forms (ice cream, frozen, hot, and cold), and we Ubered like champions. (Which takes some skill at Universal.)
6. How to make good hot Butterbeer at home
I’ve tried a couple recipes now, and this one is my favorite.
7. Treadmill desk awesomeness
In the spring, Ben made me a treadmill desk, and it became one of my favorite things ever. I also learned that our treadmill automatically shuts off when you reach 100 minutes.
Typing on the treadmill definitely aggravated my wrists, though, so I also learned about:
8. Dragon Speak dictation software
This is what Ben gave me for our anniversary, along with a tiny bit of grumbling about how unromantic of a present it was. For a writer with wrist problems, it felt so romantic.
There’s definitely a learning curve with Dragon, but with a little patience, it’s a wonderful tool for writers.
9. I can run a half-marathon.
Our church partnered with World Vision to run for clean water in the Kansas City marathon just a couple weeks ago. I signed up to run the half … then freaked out and decided there was no way … then got encouraged/talked into it/bribed by Ben and truly committed.
YIKES, it was hard to get all those training runs in, but we worked together to make it happen, and we did it! We also raised money that provided 18+ people with clean water for life.
10. How to eat at a food truck.
It’s weird that I had never eaten at one, right? I think I would have before now, but we were in the habit of taking food everywhere with us when Connor was still on his diet. Ben specifically planned a date for us where there would be food trucks so that I could have the experience of eating food on a crowded sidewalk.
11. I read about 40 books in a year.
These last few years, I’ve noticed people saying they read 20 books a year/50 books a year/200 books a year, and I realized I had no idea how many books I read in a year. So this year I kept track, and I read about 40. (I say about because not all of them were completed.)
Of those 40: 14 were non-fiction, 6 were Harry Potter, and only 5 were audio, which surprised me.
12. The torture of waiting rooms.
In May, my dad underwent surgery at M.D. Anderson in Houston to remove an aggressive and bizarre cancerous tumor. Guys, there was a TEAM of surgeons in there, and it lasted for ELEVEN hours. ELEVEN. But at the end of the longest day of our lives, we were greeted with the best news possible. Surgery went well, and they felt as confident as doctors ever do that they had gotten all the cancer.
13. Why there are two apostrophes in rock ‘n’ roll
While proofreading Go Teen Writers: Edit Your Novel, I learned from Jill Williamson that the reason there are two apostrophes around the N in Rock ‘n’ roll is because they replace the A and D of and. Now that I know it, it seems obvious, but I had never thought about it before.
14. The delight of reading to my kids at night.
Practically as soon as Connor came off his intense medical diet in October 2017, Ben and I got out of town just the two of us.
We talked about how much time and mental space was going to be freed up for us both, but especially me. I decided with my extra free time in the evenings, I wanted to read with McKenna and Connor. I alternate nights between the two of them, and it’s been fabulous.
McKenna and I started off with a “teach your kids about sex” book (!!!!), and since then have read Wonder, The Sign of the Beaver, The Burning Questions of Bingo Brown, The War That Saved My Life, Within These Lines, and we’re currently reading The BFG. Connor and I read the illustrated Harry Potter novels, one through three, and just started the fourth this week.
15. “Nothing in nature creates all the time.”
This is what my sweet, wise friend, Tiffany, said to me as I struggled with writers block for part of the year. She reminded me that I’m not a machine, I’m a human. That rest was okay.
16. What to do if you have terrible cell phone service in your home.
My cell phone hasn’t worked well in my house for about a year now, and I’ve just been awkwardly putting up with it.Then I learned that I could get a mini cell tower for free from T-mobile. I now have five bars everywhere in my house. It’s amazing! The hardest part was trying to get it ordered over the phone … with a phone that didn’t work very well.
17. My hiking capacity.
Ben and I hiked Mt. Tallac in Lake Tahoe, California, and I pretty much wanted to die. it was 10.2 miles round trip, with 3,290 feet of elevation gain. I don’t think my legs have ever been shaking quite so much as when we finished that hike. Amazingly, there were a couple of younger kids up on the summit (probably ages seven and nine, or close to it) so it’s apparently not a crazy rough hike. (Though I looked it up after we got home and saw it’s rated as “difficult,” so I feel a bit better about struggling so much!)
18. Bob Goff
I had heard his name, but my first real exposure to Bob was on Jen Hatmaker’s podcast in the episode, “Me? Love Them?” I listened to that episode twice, it felt so meaningful to me. His thoughts about having generous assumptions about others (not my strength) and that Jesus actually meant it when he said I’m to love everyone have helped to shift my outlook about relationships. I really enjoyed Love Does, and his other book is on my to-read list:
19. Don’t wait 8 years to move your website.
Just … don’t.
I spent two weeks of my life moving Go Teen Writers off Blogger and onto a real, self-hosted site. Totally worth it, but it took sooooo long.
20. Enneagram. I’m a 4. Maybe with a 5 wing. But I act like a 1 most the time.
One of the books I read this year was The Road Back To You about the enneagram. Typing myself has been trickier than I anticipated, but it’s still been a really helpful tool with marriage, parenting, and self-discovery.
21. The difference between being responsible TO someone and being responsible FOR someone.
Boundaries is another one of the books that I read this year. Twice, actually. I listened to it in audio, and then I studied it with two of my friends. One of my favorite concepts in that book is that it’s good to be responsible TO people but not responsible FOR them.
22. Having a word for the year.
Over the last few years, many of my friends have picked a word or phrase for their year, but I never have. Then a couple of my friends (the same ones who I studied Boundaries with) took an online quiz from Dayspring to find theirs. I’m not a big quiz taker, but I had a few spare moments that night and decided, “Why not?”
I was stunned when the word that came up for me for 2018 was “Brave.” Especially as I was facing a scary cancer diagnosis with my dad, some mild depression, and trying to write Within These Lines.
For a while, the word “Brave” was the wallpaper on my phone, just to remind myself. Having that word on my mind this year has been surprisingly helpful as I’ve faced challenges.
23. Having a mid-year review of goals
In June, I found myself at a conference with a spare lunch hour to myself. I decided to review my goals for 2018 and see how I was doing. I definitely plan to do it again next year, because I was like, “Oh, right! I planned to remodel the laundry room. And Jill and I were going to re-release the Go Teen Writers book. I should probably get on that if those are going to happen!”
They both did, but only because I reviewed my goals!
24. The Expanse
This is a science fiction series that Ben loved. He read all the books, and had really enjoyed the TV series too. I’m not a big sci-fi person, but Ben thought I would like the characters. He was right. I loved the show, and I can’t wait for the next season! (It’s definitely a show for adults. Proceed with necessary caution.)
25. I’ve stopped watching movies and TV shows that I don’t think Ben will like.
I had this realization a few weeks ago, that we have such limited time for TV and movies that both of us are primarily watching things that we both like. Next year, I want to be better about making time for stories that interest me, regardless of if Ben will like them.
26. “Discipline, not desire, determines your destiny.”
This is an Andy Stanley quote that has become a mantra in our house. It’s even hanging up in our kids’ bathroom because of how constantly we all need the reminder that it’s not just enough to want something. We have to choose to work for what’s important to us.
27. What it’s like to see without contacts
Back in December, I was fed up with my eyes and struggled to find contacts that fit correctly. Even though it felt super scary, I decided to have Lasik surgery. Life without contacts and glasses has been amazing. As someone who had a prescription bad enough that EVERYBODY at the surgery center commented on it, the surgery has made a huge difference in quality of life. Especially when we’re camping!
28. Zion and Great Sand Dunes National Parks (and I can camp when it’s really cold!)
These were two new national parks for us this year, and we loved both! We camped both times, even though it was very chilly. I never thought I would be okay camping when it was in the twenties at night, but we made great family memories.
29. I’m a boat girl.
This summer, I had my first experiences with kayaking and being on a pontoon boat. I loved both and want to do more.
30. Yes, I can make time for it.
Somehow I managed to make time for training for a half marathon on top of raising three kids and writing. This was a great reminder for me that I can make time for what’s important to me.
31. Re-releasing a book.
Next week, Jill Williamson and I are re-releasing our original Go Teen Writers book as Go Teen Writers: Edit Your Novel. Neither of us had ever gone through the process of updating content, and it was more intense and involved than either of us anticipated. But we’re super proud of our finished product!
32. The joy/freedom/delight of having no school lunches to pack.
With Connor being off his diet this year, he started buying school lunch sometimes. It’s been so wonderful to often have NO school lunches that need packing.
33. The beauty of celebrating a birthday when you didn’t think you would get to.
In May, we had the joy of celebrating a birthday with my dad that we didn’t think we would get. You stop complaining about growing old when it looks like there’s a chance you won’t get to. He said, “Every birthday I get to celebrate now is a bonus.”
34. Having all 3 kids in school … occasionally.
Eli started preschool two days a week, and I love the balance of dedicated work time and dedicated mom time. Plus, how cute is he with his backpack??
35. Manzanar is hot and sad and beautiful.
One of the highlights of the year for me was getting to go to Manzanar Historic Site, which is the internment camp where part of Within These Lines takes place. It was July, so it was crazy hot. The displays were thought-provoking and sad. When Eli saw what the showers looked like, he told me they were broken, and I started to cry.
But there’s also something beautiful about being there. The mountains are beautiful (when it’s not hazy from wildfires) but also it’s beautiful that our country preserved our mistakes so we can learn from them. I hope as I make mistakes in my life, I can be as transparent.
That’s it! I’m looking forward to soaking up everything year 35 has for me!